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A bs article if I ever saw one.
Bastard Programmer from Hell
If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
"If you just follow the bacon Eddy, wherever it leads you, then you won't have to think about politics." -- Some Bell.
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The sign of an idiot provocateur is when they use "mistakes morons make" as a reason not to do something. Even funnier is when their alternatives suffer all the same problems, only worse (recursion bugs are notoriously tricky to track down.)
(And no offense to Java-istas, but using the stream API to iterate over a map is one of the dumbest thing I've ever read. How about forEach?)
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His four points are actually excellent, in that they boil down to "don't be a crappy, careless programmer" -- that's always good advice.
But does he really offer recursion and streams as alternatives?
There's no way anyone could ever make careless mistakes with them, is there? Especially not the kind of programmer who doesn't know what <= means. You can trust them with recursion, no worries.
He's probably just unhappy that he missed out on the "make goto a dirty word" campaign, so he's trying to start a new one.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Dear Lord!
Don't use a loop because you might screw up the break condition, use recursion instead! No-one in the history of the world has ever missed a break condition on a recursive method, have they?
Given that these high-falutin' ideas tend to fall apart in the face of reality, let's look at waht I'm writing today: I'm pulling a list from a database and generating an ML feed from every record to throw at an API. That's a pretty run-of-the-mill job and all over the world there'll be peope writing something similar.
Is anyone suggesting that there's really a better way of doing this than:
Read into list
foreach item in list
do stuff
It might look prosaic and it might not make for great conference speeches, but it's clearly and obviously the way to do the job - it's readable, it's reliable and it works. And, no, the foreach won't fail to break when it gets to the end of the list; the statefullness of this one off job won't kill the server and I'm entirely sure that nobody will die as a result of my hideously old-fashioned programming.
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. - Mark Twain
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Recursion is easier to understand
That's a good one. Tell any newbie (who are the apparent audience, given that the cited "reasons to avoid loops" apply primarily to them) that recursion is easier than looping, they will definitely agree.
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The blind leading the blind. So, obfuscate loops by using higher order functions or, OMG, recursion ? It's still a loop!
If I were in that lecture, I'd walk out LMAO.
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The worst part about this is to think companies actually pay this guy to consult for them.
I wouldn't let him or anyone from that company step through the door.
"They have a consciousness, they have a life, they have a soul! Damn you! Let the rabbits wear glasses! Save our brothers! Can I get an amen?"
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He's a pussy. Real programmers loop using recursively templated lambda expressions. Generated via XML markup. And with only slight modifications to the XML and workflow, the the new icons are created.
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David O'Neil wrote: He's a pussy. Real programmers loop using recursively templated lambda expressions. Generated via XML markup. And with only slight modifications to the XML and workflow, the the new icons are created.
Well of course they're easily generated from XML. They're in native .svg format and will look great on anything from a 16x16 titlebar icon to a digital billboard at times square.
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, weighing all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
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Microsoft continues to face data-privacy obstacles in Europe over its core cloud-based products. "You have zero privacy anyway. Get over it."
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What, are they saying that allowing a US corporation to upload and store (with real-time changes) all your (business critical) data might be a bad thing?
If so, it's obviously time to upgrade to ms office 2003.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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A pair of researchers, one from the University of Munich, the other the University of Amsterdam has found that people may behave with overconfidence as a means to persuade or deceive other people. That's what I've *always* said
It always works when "rules lawyering"
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"one from the University of No Sh*t, the other the University of Sherlock"
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That it took two researchers to find the bleeding obvious speaks well to those fine institutions.
TTFN - Kent
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Isn't that the point of overconfidence? You're trying to deceive at least yourself, and usually everyone else, too.
I mean really? Why did anyone waste time studying this?
#SupportHeForShe
Government can give you nothing but what it takes from somebody else. A government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take everything you've got, including your freedom.-Ezra Taft Benson
You must accept 1 of 2 basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe or we are not alone. Either way, the implications are staggering!-Wernher von Braun
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If you've been ignoring 5G, start paying attention. It may not be time yet to orchestrate a 5G implementation, but it's certainly time to think about your plans. Well, it's one higher, innit?
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Study funded by Facebook aims to improve communication with paralysed patients Did I leave the stove on? Soup. That's what I want for ... what was that song? The one with the bass line, "duh duh-duh". Lunch time. What to eat?
"Funded by Facebook" <- scariest part of the news item.
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I'd like to sign up for that testing. As soon as they hook it up to my brain the machine will come to a dead stop, and they'll think its broken. I can't think of a better way to prank facebooks mind reading software.
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Astronomers have found that the Crab Nebula pulsar is blasting out extraordinarily high-energy photons by watching optical shock waves in water generated by faster-than-light muons. Just in case you were wondering why everyone is turning green
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It's probably just Skynet, test-firing the orbital weapons it's taken control of.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Security researchers analyzing the security flaws present in IoT devices used in smart buildings were able to replace the real video feeds with arbitrary footage. Wasn't that a plot line in every Mission Impossible movie?
And assorted other thriller/mystery/spy/crime movies (and maybe a few comedies as well)?
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And have these "Security researchers" been arrested and charged?
The world becomes a safer place, every time one of them is taken off the streets.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Just think of the poor guy who has to watch these surveillance videos, while the hackers feed some NSFW videos into the system, of course at the moment his boss is next to him...
Oh sanctissimi Wilhelmus, Theodorus, et Fredericus!
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The Data Transfer Project wants to make it easy to move data between services Now they just have to figure out how to insert advertisements to the exported data
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It's a perfectly normal "You give me your suckers scratch my back, and I'll give you mine scratch yours" agreement.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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