Intro
In his play Romeo and Juliet, William Shakespeare had Juliet say:
What's in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;
Not to "dis" the Bard, but diction - what we call things - is very important. Abraham Lincoln made this clear in his famous riddle: "If you call a tail a leg, how many legs does a dog have?" The correct answer is four (for a normal dog) because, as Lincoln explained, "No matter what you call it, a tail is still a tail, not a leg" (or words to that effect).
The Crux of the Biscuit
So what about us "Programmers"? Or are we "Software Developers," or "Software Engineers," or some other such thing?
I hold that all these attempts at defining our profession are misleading. "Programmer" makes people think we stand at computers flipping toggles, watching lights blink on and off. "Developer" has construction connotations - and most software creation doesn't have much in common with the construction process, unless you're talking about the Winchester Mystery House; and "Engineer" makes me think either of a guy (they are almost always guys) with one hand on the brake, leaning out the window looking at the tracks ahead while wearing a stripey hat; or a fella with a protractor and pocket protector intently peering at a schematic or hovering over a blueprint, or some such.
This naming dilemma makes me think of the erstwhile storied British band Cream, a "power trio" comprised of virtuoso guitarist Eric Clapton, the late great bassist/tunesmith/vocalist Jack Bruce, and the sometimes histrionic, oftentimes vitriolic drummer Ginger Baker. Anyway, Mr. Baker recently asserted that Cream was a jazz band. That's a stretch, but I get his drift: they were experimental, and they were blues-based ... but, Cream a jazz combo? I think Ginger is just trying to rewrite his personal history because he thinks Jazz (with a capital "J") is a more worthwhile form of musical expression than rock (casual music lovers would probably simply label Cream with that appellation).
A better description, though, of Cream's style or genre -- in fact the most accurate I've ever read (better than "electric blues" and "power trio" and certainly more on-the-mark than calling them a jazz band) -- is when somebody (can't recall where I read it) referred to them as a "psychedelic blues band". Now that's perfect - that nails who they were and what they projected!
Outro/Peroration
Similarly, I think we who swim in the labyrinthine depths of software creation should call ourselves "Psychedelic Algebraists." A bit of a tongue-twister, perhaps, but more accurate and on-the-money than "Programmer", "Software Developer", "Software Engineer", or any of that rot.
And besides, doesn't "Psychedelic Algebraist" carry much more cachet than the rest of those staid and stilted definitions?
To give a visual representation, "Psychedelic Algebraist" sounds akin to the way a European Starling looks:
This magnificently beautiful scorner of the ground (seen here in one of its less scornful attitudes) should be taken up as our "mascot."
Note: Do not let the "European" part of its name mislead you - I saw several of these recently in Monterey, the original capital of California.
Show Your Appreciation
If you like this article, go out on your lawn, propel yourself up and down (akin to a kid with a sugar high) on a pogo stick, with left elbow* akimbo and hat placed at a jaunty (or rakish) angle, all the while shouting: "Zippety-Doo-Dah, Zippety-A!" backwards in a Bronx accent.
* Or right elbow, if you are left-handed.
