Justifying norp
Abstract
We build upon the great achievements
of humanity, such as the Declaration of Human Rights. We fully and strongly
believe in the necessity and value of this paper. This is a quality of life
issue about how to minimize norp.
Definitions
Definition: Norp.
Unpleasant and undesired activity usually imposed upon you by bosses, society,
etc (from now on collectively called authority).
Definition: Justification.
The process by which you satisfy the authority that imposed the norp onto you,
regarding the execution of that norp.
Definition: Justification Efficiency.
Is a rational number from 0 to 1 including, computed by the formula: 1 � (p * norp) / norp, where p is the
percentage (expressed as a rational number from 0 to 1 including) of the assigned
norp you actually executed.
Observations:
-
The desired justification
efficiency is 1, which means 0 norp executed.
-
The blindest, hardest and unhappiest way of justifying
is actually doing the norp. We strongly advise against that.
Onwards in this paper, we outline
some methods of achieving high justification
efficiency, in a consistent and reproducible way.
Increasing justification
efficiency
First to arise is the question:
how is any justification efficiency different
from 0 possible?
The answer is that while this
might seem very hard to do theoretically, it is achievable by taking advantage
of the human psychology, weaknesses in the organization of the company (red
tape, weak authority), etc.
Methods of achieving high justification
efficiency
Preemptive strike. Don�t wait to be asked about your justification.
Strike first. Pretend to be enraged, to have faced insurmountable obstacles in
your attempt to do the norp, to be the willing one but hampered by the
infrastructure or by a very annoying particular problem.
Caution: don�t do this often, it will upset the authority and make
you look incompetent.
Advantages: done seldom enough, it can actually picture you as a
driven, motivated worker. Also good as a last resort justification.
It�s so hard. When the authority does not know exactly what your
assigned norp implies, ask for more time and resources than necessary, and
enjoy the paid vacation.
Caution: beware of an eventual collateral authority that might be
able to detect your strategy. Also, do no take changes, do not underestimate
the authority and do not exaggerate.
Advantages: if you find the right, easy to fool, authority, this
can be a long term solution and a very efficient one.
Who�s gonna make me do it? Is the authority weak? Is it too busy
and the attention you get from it scarce? Than simply neglect your norp.
Caution: The weakness in the authority might be temporary. And
don�t be too happy anyway. Where ever the authority is so weak, bankruptcy is
not far.
Advantages: You really do very little norp.
Communication brake down. This
ideal when the authority will inspect some results of you norp and see some reports
of some kind, but will not do a full inspection of you activity. You must
exploit the fact that there usually is no bijection between the actual
execution of the norp and the report you have to make. You must find out what
is the minimal quantity of norp that can be done and still have a report that
looks great.
Caution: think ahead and be sure that norp you don�t do now will
not hunt you too much in the future.
Advantages: one of the safest strategies.
Look! There�s Superman! Related to Communication brake down. In order to not do the mass of norp you
were assigned, find one spectacular, unexpected result, simulate enthusiasm and
present that result as something important and worthy of every bit of
attention. You should manage to make the rest of norp forgotten.
Caution: don�t do it too often, eventually the authority will get angry
about this.
Advantages: It is a very good way to turn luck into justification. If you�re lucky to
stumble upon that result, you�ve got it made for the day.
Come pet me. Smile, be nice, make compliments, kiss ass.
Caution: none
Advantages: can get you promotions.
What if it does not work?
The shrewdest of authorities will
make you have justification efficiency
values close to 0. Our advice is that if you can not manage a justification efficiency above 0.4,
resign and move on. If you have a justification
efficiency of 0.6 or above, hang on to that job.
