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A few years ago I was developing a financial app. I asked my boss what the program should do if a particular condition arose. He replied that it couldn't happen so, don't worry about it. I put the following message in the program: "If you get this message, call my bosses name and home phone number". He received middle of the night calls for years.
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One of my favorite error messages comes from the mainframe world in the Natural environment from Software AG. Natural makes the attempt to not only tell you what's wrong, but what you may be able to do to fix the problem. I don't remember the exact text of the message but it was something along the lines of "an error has occurred". The memorable part is the suggested fix: "Check program and correct".
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My first computer book ever was call "Sad Macs, Bombs, and Other Disasters". I had inherited a powermac 6100 with system 7.5. I really enjoyed all the bomb icons complete with an error number...how informative!
"Go forth into the source" - Neal Morse
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kmoorevs wrote: My first computer book ever was call "Sad Macs, Bombs, and Other Disasters". I
had inherited a powermac 6100 with system 7.5. I really enjoyed all the bomb
icons complete with an error number...how informative!
My favourite error was a pre-OS X Mac bomb-type message
"An unexpected error has occurred because an error has occurred".
Genius
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I put in an error message during a late night debug session: "Oops, the XXX filter is corrupted. You must now sacrifice a black goat over the keyboard at midnight to restore settings". Then I forgot about it thinking it will never happen. This was my first real job as an embedded systems programmer and I was sure this would never hit. Right.
Somehow, the code made it to production. We got a call from tech support about 6 months later who did not find it amusing. My boss remembered it to the day I left the company.
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It may not be the worst i have ever seen but it certainly is amusing. Something must have cocked up the Youtube server and this was the error message I got: "Sorry! Something went wrong. A team of highly trained monkeys has been dispatched to deal with the situation. If you see them, show them this information" and then there were some gibberish alpha-numeric strings about half a page long. I literally laughed out loud and posted it on my Facebook profile as well for my mates to have a laugh at. And guess what?? they did!....
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Something bad happened
with a picture of little beasties munching on the innards of some computers
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I remember reading about a program someone was debugging with message boxes, and he made them all tsundere, to ease the tedium.
Sadly, he shipped it without removing all of the messages. 2 weeks later, he dealt with a phonecall from a client who quoted: "I-It's not like I wanted to give you data, desuwa~, I just made to much!"
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I was pushing the limits of an algorithm to find the limit of it's recursive processing. Then I put in a try/catch to gently and safely bring the app down when it failed. This isn't a bad error message, it's a failure in expectations. When it blew, it was supposed to write a formatted message in the catch block. When you get a stack overflow error/message, the app shuts down, no catch processing, no final executions, you're done, you're out. I thought try/catch was supposed to always catch failures.
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My personal favorite, encountered only once while trying to open a project file in Borland C++Builder 6, it went something like;
"We were unable to process your request. Reason:
The window does not have scroll bars."
Yup, apparently scroll bars are an essential part of loading the file.
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I remember a Win 95 message when connecting to a NT4 Server as you try to attach to a share.
Something along the lines: "I can't log you in, as you may have already logged off"
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Worst I've come across was
"Don't understand why this code normally works, REALLY don't understand why it failed..."
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I'm having bad day today as I stumbled across some VB code that's worse than usual coding horror. So I decided to relieve my mind by sharing those gems here.
If _Inspeksi = Inspeksi.JTM Then
Else
SQL = "SELECT ID_GI FROM AGARDU_INDUK WHERE NO_GARDU='" & DDGI2.ID & "'"
DT = New DataTable
DT = GlobalClassV2.Globals.Instance.ExecuteQuery(SQL)
SQL = ""
If DT.Rows.Count = 0 Then
Exit Function
End If
GINDUKR = DT.Rows(0)!ID_GI
SQL = "SELECT ID_GD FROM AGARDU_DISTRIBUSI WHERE NO_GARDU='" & GINDUK & "'"
DT = New DataTable
DT = GlobalClassV2.Globals.Instance.ExecuteQuery(SQL)
SQL = ""
If DT.Rows.Count = 0 Then
Exit Function
End If
GINDUK = DT.Rows(0)!ID_GD
End If
If GlobalClassV2.Globals.Instance.ExecuteQuery2(XSQL) = False Then
Throw New Exception("GAGAL")
Exit Function
End If
For iData As Integer = 1 To FG2.Rows.Count - 1
If IsDBNull(FG2.Item(iData, 0)) = True Then
Else
DLInsert.InsertInspeksiJTMTR2_DETIL_NEWEST(False, pIDInspeksi, "R", dtTglPeriksa.Text, _
CG.CheckNull(FG2.Item(iData, 0)), FG2.Item(iData, 8), "", CG.CheckNullNum(FG2.Item(iData, 13)), "", Split(CG.CheckNull(FG2.Item(iData, 2)), " - ")(0), _
Split(CG.CheckNull(FG2.Item(iData, 3)), " - ")(0), "", "", _
Split(CG.CheckNull(FG2.Item(iData, 4)), " - ")(0), CG.CheckNull(FG2.Item(iData, 5)), Split(CG.CheckNull(FG2.Item(iData, 7)), " - ")(0), _
CG.CheckNull(FG2.Item(iData, 11)), "", Globals.Instance.EncodeDate(DateTime.Parse(FG2.Item(iData, 12))), _
Split(CG.CheckNull(FG2.Item(iData, 13)), " - ")(0), CG.CheckNull(FG2.Item(iData, 5)), CG.CheckNull(FG2.Item(iData, 6)), _
CG.CheckNull(FG2.Item(iData, 1)), Split(CG.CheckNull(FG2.Item(iData, 14)), " - ")(0), Split(CG.CheckNull(FG2.Item(iData, 15)), " - ")(0), _
CG.CheckNull(FG2.Item(iData, 17)), Split(CG.CheckNull(FG2.Item(iData, 18)), " - ")(0), FG2.Item(iData, 9), FG2.Item(iData, 10))
End If
Next
Excuse me for my improper grammar and typos.
It's because English is my primary language, not my first language.
My first languages are C# and Java.
VB, ASP, JS, PHP and SQL are my second language.
Indonesian came as my third language.
My fourth language? I'm still creating it, I'll let you know when it's done!
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Very inconsistent! He'd better write:
If GlobalClassV2.Globals.Instance.ExecuteQuery2(XSQL) = True Then
Else
Throw New Exception("GAGAL")
Exit Function
End If
And I like that gaga exception ("gagal" means "failed", doesn't it?) before the call to Exit Function ...
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'GAGAL' sonds more like something you could encounter in Star Wars, something with long teeth and claws
And from the clouds a mighty voice spoke: "Smile and be happy, for it could come worse!"
And I smiled and was happy And it came worse.
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Let Me Gagal That Fer Ya.
Somebody in an online forum wrote: INTJs never really joke. They make a point. The joke is just a gift wrapper.
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You have to do inspeksi ahead...
I like inspeksi...
(yes|no|maybe)*
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In fairness ... the problem is not that it's VB, it's that he's a crap programmer!
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I just asked a coworker where in TFS the source code is for a utility that is heavily used in our department. He said it wasn't, but he'd email me the source code.
It is a Windows Forms application and there are several forms, but there is one primary form. I looked at the VB (.Net, thankfully) code for that form. I wish I hadn't...
21,662 lines of code, just for that one form.
Now, I just have to figure out what Form2, Form3, Form4, Form5, Form6, and Form7 do.
Somebody in an online forum wrote: INTJs never really joke. They make a point. The joke is just a gift wrapper.
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10 methods?
(yes|no|maybe)*
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Wow, someone who can write that much code in a single Form must be really good!
Or perhaps 21,662 is his favourite number? Kind of like his personal 42
It's an OO world.
public class Naerling : Lazy<Person>{}
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Public Class MainForm
Inherits Form
Public Sub MainForm_Load(sender As System.Object, e As System.EventArgs) Handles MyBase.Load
End Sub
End Class
Somebody in an online forum wrote: INTJs never really joke. They make a point. The joke is just a gift wrapper.
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