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I used these two just this morning. I was donating platelets at the Red Cross.
After the first bad stick, "In for a penny, in for a pound".
When the phlebotomist moved to the second arm, "Measure twice and pierce once". They seemed amused at the time.
Others:
When in doubt, spell it out. (Yes. I programmed with COBOL)
RTFM - Read The F@#king Manual. (When manuals were thin enough to read).
Doesn't anyone use SNAFU anymore? Or is this meant to be a more esoteric list?
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I use SNAFU and FUBAR both. Still.
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The 7Ps would have saved a bunch of work throughout the years: Proper Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance!
It Is The Absolute Verifiable Truth & Proven Fact
That Your Belly-Button Signature Ties
To Viviparous Mama.
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Oh! 7 Ps. We only used 6...
We're philosophical about power outages here. A.C. come, A.C. go.
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LMGBTYOT - Let me get back to you on that
was one of our standard replies when undergoing Software Process certification
emilG
"Dealing with failure is easy: Work hard to improve.
Success is also easy to handle: You've solved the wrong
problem. Work hard to improve." - Alan Perlis
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One of my personal favourites is Recto-Cranial Invert. It means the same as a**hole, but sounds almost medical.
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
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A scary number of moons ago, I was playing in a university (field) hockey team. One of my teammates, with some justification, called the umpire a "myopic catatonic". He got away with it because the umpire didn't understand.
Cheers,
Peter
Software rusts. Simon Stephenson, ca 1994. So does this signature. me, 2012
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Lou Holtz, the old football coach, says, "I would agree with you but then we'd both be wrong."
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I never worked at IBM, but have been told that they have this "official" term "TF", for "Temporary Fix". The "temporary" element sometimes was so flexible that some fixes were internally referred to as "PTF" - Permanent Temporary Fixes.
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IBM - Inferior But Marketable
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
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If you've got a copy of the original Ted Nelson scrapbook that introduced the 'hypertext' concept (this was in the late 1970s), Computer Lib / Dream Machines, there is a long list of IBM deabbreviations. My copy is deep down in a pile in my basement, but of those I rememeber (without digging it up) is 'Itsy Bitsy Machines' and 'It's Better Manually'.
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FUD - fear, uncertainty and doubt - an old IBM acronym.
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Most Intelligent Customers Realise Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
Association Produces Profit Losing Entity
Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics
Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
and of course
I Blame Microsoft
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addMethod.Invoke(m_columnMappings(ordinalColumnPosition).ColumnProperty.GetValue(dataObject), {objectValue})
Taking data from excel named ranges into List<> properties using reflection
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An expert of programming and C# with some 25+ years of experience in software engineering wrote a really useful function:
private string EncodeFlags(EventType _eventType)
{
if (_eventType == EventType.Alarm)
{
return "A";
}
if (_eventType == EventType.PreAlarm)
{
return "P";
}
if (_eventType == EventType.Malfunction)
{
return "M";
}
return "";
} Already this function alone is some kind of WTF.
But let's look at the definition of the input parameter which he translates:
[Flags]
public enum EventType
{
None = 0,
PreAlarm = 1,
Alarm = 2,
Malfunction = 4
} So he translates an enum with a Flags attribute to a string , ignoring the fact that they are flags, in order to store that value in a database eventually.
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He has a bug in in code by not returning a useful defalut value. And its also missing in the enum.
If he is an expert in Solitaire I may know him?
Press F1 for help or google it.
Greetings from Germany
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KarstenK wrote: useful defalut What's that?
#SupportHeForShe
Government can give you nothing but what it takes from somebody else. A government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take everything you've got, including your freedom.-Ezra Taft Benson
You must accept 1 of 2 basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe or we are not alone. Either way, the implications are staggering!-Wernher von Braun
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I suspect it happened the other way around. The database was already screwed -- storing a character flag (yuck) -- but the dev is smart enough to use an enum in the code instead.
However, I (not being an average bear) would add a DescriptionAttribute to each member of the enum:
[Flags]
public enum EventType
{
[Description("")]
None = 0,
[Description("P")]
PreAlarm = 1,
[Description("A")]
Alarm = 2,
[Description("M")]
Malfunction = 4
}
Then, to get the textual representation of the state, you get the Description from the enum -- and members can be added and removed to/from the enum without having to update the code. To take it a step further, I store the enum members and their textual representations in a Dictionary for easy look-up.
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Surely it would be simpler to cheat?
public enum EventType : ushort
{
None = 0,
PreAlarm = 'P',
Alarm = 'A',
Malfunction = 'M',
}
var foo = (EventType)'P';
char bar = (char)foo;
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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Yes.
Many years ago, in C, I used a short to hold two characters for some text file parsing I needed to do.
modified 4-Jul-17 13:50pm.
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PIEBALDconsult wrote: Then, to get the textual representation of the state
It's a flagged enum, so how would he represent the state Alarm | Malfunction ?
To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems - Homer Simpson
Our heads are round so our thoughts can change direction - Francis Picabia
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Well spotted.
"If you don't fail at least 90 percent of the time, you're not aiming high enough."
Alan Kay.
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Bernhard Hiller wrote: store that value in a database eventually.
Did I miss important new trend in databases? When did they stopped supporting integers?
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