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Jeremy Falcon wrote: The whole white knight thing doesn't play out well. Side note, there are plenty of messed up chicks too. But white knights never care when it comes to guys. I wonder why.
Jesus. Never picked you for an incel. I literally took in a homeless man and most of the refugees I helped were male.
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I had to Google "incel"... Christian I don't think you've paid attention to our interactions at all in 20 some-odd years on CP. But whatever, I know your vibe dude...
I glazed over the homeless dude part because you already lost me with your political hate speech at the start. So yeah, that's my bad. Props for that. That's really cool.
Jeremy Falcon
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Imagine hating Nazis. What a prick I am!!!
I hate the right because they stalked and threatened to kill my kids, and in general hate society.
People who think the only reason men ever help women is to try and get laid are called incels, yes
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Christian Graus wrote: I hate the right because they stalked and threatened to kill my kids, and in general hate society.
I'm an independent, and let me tell you, your hate is the same thing I hear on the Right. Everyone thinks they're holy and correct and hates the other camp. All I see is this hate talk. You're no better than the Right and just as brainwashed.
Given all the hate you spewed tonight, I don't expect you to see it. It's just a part of your world dude. And I get it, it's not like I'm unfamiliar with angst and disdain myself. It's for completely different reasons though, but I'll give you a hint... I tend to hate hate and well in doing so, I've become what I don't like. But, I recognize hate when I see it. I say this to let you know I'm not playing holier than thou when I say I've seen bad vibes here.
Christian Graus wrote: People who think the only reason men ever help women is to try and get laid are called incels, yes
That's what you inferred not what I implied. You were being creepy not helpful, but I chose not to come right out and say it because I know you're not confident and mature enough with women to laugh at that. And if you do now, it's only because I said that and you're pretending. You see, I already played my douche card enough for one post and you missed the point about bragging. I saw no reason for another point to be any different.
You clearly know nothing about me after 20 years. Not cool dude.
Jeremy Falcon
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"The right want to kill trans childen and Muslims, and own women. THe left want everyone to afford housing. How ever can I tell them apart?"
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I think you drank away too many brain cells dude. This thread is now toxic... thanks.
Jeremy Falcon
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Extremism is bad, no matter in which direction.
Taking our civilian war in Spain as an example:
An ex militar and politician considered "right wing" ("José Antonio Primo de Rivera") said before his execution "I hope mine is the last spanish blood that gets poured in this senseless war" (or something like this, free translation)
A left rebelian (Dolores Ibarruri, La Pasionaria) is known by her quote "I prefer to execute 100 innocent people to set free a guilty" (specially oriented to what she considered fascists)
Please note: I am not defending the one or the other one. I am just trying to say that it doesn't matter what ideology one person follows. There are good and bad people overall and the dangerous ones are the extremists, not the moderated ones.
M.D.V. 
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
modified 10hrs 5mins ago.
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That's a manly bro-rose I left you... since there was no high five emoji. So yeah... manly... 
Jeremy Falcon
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And in fairness I refrained from saying right wing filth. The truth is I openly debated lies about refugees and they literally called my house regularly threatening to kill my kids
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I do things, I do them without expectation of reward or recognition. Have I helped people? I hope so. I hope that actions I take make someone else's life that bit better but can I honestly say they have? Well, that's a tougher one to answer. Do your best. Don't be a jerk. Those are the sentences I try to live up to.
modified 14hrs ago.
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About five years ago my wife was driving home from work at about 9:30 at night. At a short but very dark stretch of highway a black bear ran out (and they can run *FAST*) and wasn't visible until it got in front of headlights. My wife had no time to react and hit it. The bear was killed by the impact and my wife's car was stopped and stuck dead in the middle of a dark highway road.
She was unable to get out of the car due to airbags deployed all over. And she thought she had survived that crash but was likely to get hit by cars behind her.
But right away the car behind her pulled over, three guys got out. Checked on her, called for help, and pushed her car off to the side of the road to safety. When she was apparently alright they stayed until regular emergency help arrived (tow/cops/etc). Then went on their way. In the hub-bub of answering questions she never got a chance to find out who they were.
I wish I could say thank you to them. (And to the people that thought of airbags -she was hardly hurt by an impact that practically stopped the car at highway speed).
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Man, that's awesome. Restores your faith in humanity. Glad to hear she got through it unscathed.
Jeremy Falcon
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Both - helped various people over the years, strangers friends and family. Failed to help another stranger (obviously in need) years ago, and regretted it ever since. It wasn't lack of courage so much as lack of concern.
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Tried it a lot of times.
- Starting with small things: i.e. Telling a stranger "I'm going" whilst walking to my car in a totally full parking lot" (what made the youg guy smile from ear to ear)
and
- going up to several months of investing time / tips / advices / teaching: I.e. relative of a relative of mine that came to germany without a word of german to whom I helped with the language, introduced several people, helped teaching automation, helped with documents whilst looking for a job (which he landed in the maintenance group in a BMW-Plant, brought his wife and child here and a couple of years later he managed to reach the Ing. job he actually deserved by his own).
Sadly a lot of miss-success histories in the way. Mostly due to loss of interest of the third person, what annoyed me a lot, but hey... that's life. Noone can always "win".
Many times a simple Thank you was my reward (and it is more than enough for me in this topic). I sometimes hadn't got any, my reward is my own pride of having helped someone.
M.D.V.
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
modified 10hrs 10mins ago.
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Nelek wrote: - Starting with small things: i.e. Telling a stranger "I'm going" whilst walking to my car in a totally full parking lot" (what made the youg guy smile from ear to ear)
Crazy as it might sound, sometimes it's just the little things like that, that can brighten someone's day.
Nelek wrote: going up to several months of investing time / tips / advices / teaching: I.e. relative of a relative of mine that came to germany without a word of german to whom I helped with the language, introduced several people, helped teaching automation, helped with documents whilst looking for a job (which he landed in the maintenance group in a BMW-Plant, brought his wife and child here and a couple of years later he managed to reach the Ing. job he actually deserved by his own).
You da man.  People should learn to stand on their own two feet, but we're all in this life thing together and helping out like that speaks volumes, buddy. I tried doing something similar with starting an investing group to help others back in Los Angeles. Not sure if I just sucked as a teacher (could be ) but it didn't pan out as it was more about ego and people lying. So, I stopped it. E for effort I guess...
Nelek wrote: Sadly a lot of miss-success histories in the way. Mostly due to loss of interest of the third person, what annoyed me a lot, but hey... that's life.
Tru dat, that's a lesson I need to learn for sure... people are going to be who they are ya know.
Nelek wrote: I sometimes hadn't got any, my reward is my own pride of having helped someone.
Not sure if your spiritual or not, but no matter what happens you're rewarded with being able to look in the mirror and smile... knowing you spent your time on this planet at least trying to make it a teeny, tiny bit better than you found it.
Jeremy Falcon
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Jeremy Falcon wrote: Not sure if your spiritual or not,
Not really spiritual (although I do believe in spirits and "karma"), but more in the way of ethic / philosophic.
Jeremy Falcon wrote: knowing you spent your time on this planet at least trying to make it a teeny, tiny bit better than you found it.
That's one of the things my parents teached me, go whereever you go, do whatever you do... try always to leave things at least as good as you found it.
Sure it is not always possible, but I try my best on that.
It is like trying not to close the door when relationships (it doesn't matter if professional or personal) end. Mine might sleep long time, but I have re-taken contact with several people during the years and there were no bad feelings and was enough to meet and have a drink or to crush over when in town. So far only ended bad with 2 people in my life.
M.D.V.
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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Nelek wrote: Not really spiritual (although I do believe in spirits and "karma"), but more in the way of ethic / philosophic.
Just read this after my other comment... Totally agree about that karma.
Nelek wrote: try always to leave things at least as good as you found it.
Sure it is not always possible, but I try my best on that.
It's a great philosophy man.
Nelek wrote: It is like trying not to close the door when relationships (it doesn't matter if professional or personal) end. Mine might sleep long time, but I have re-taken contact with several people during the years and there were no bad feelings and was enough to meet and have a drink or to crush over when in town. So far only ended bad with 2 people in my life.
As long as you aren't unfair with your current partner. I sure wouldn't want someone I was serious with hanging out with her ex, even if it ended on good terms. Never met a sane chick that was good with that either (for a serious relationship, not just having fun). I mean, unless there were kids involved... then you got no choice.
Jeremy Falcon
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Jeremy Falcon wrote: But, how many of y'all have helped change someone's day (or life) for the better? Whether it be a stranger or a sibling?
Who hasn't?
Don't all of us do something for someone from time to time? 
Could be as easy as visiting your grandma...
I invited a cousin over last week and when he left he said "we should do this more often, it's therapeutic." 
Now changing someone's life...
Another cousin always looked up to me and started drumming because of me (for like a year or something) and he started freelancing more or less because I was a role model.
I didn't change his life, but I'd like to think I've had a positive influence 
If things are going as they should, we'll do a project together soon!
There was also this guy right here on CP that wrote a book because I commented "you should write a book" on a rather lengthy article and after that I pointed him towards a publisher I'd worked with.
I don't think I did much, but he still thanks me for it in his foreword (which is kind of awesome) 
Maybe I inspired other people as well?
And boy do I wish I helped someone.
I used to have a best friend who came from a broken family.
Mother working odd jobs just to get food on the table.
He did pretty well at school, good grades and nice friends, although he ended up doing drugs after we grew apart.
Anyway, he had a little sister and she was very childish (she was a child, but even then...).
He wasn't particularly nice to her and sometimes just flat out mean (calling her fat and stuff, made her very body-aware, and they both were pretty fat...).
And either she liked me or she really just needed attention, even if it was from her brother's friends, but she often tried to talk to me when her brother would tell her to shut up and ![Elephant | [mastadon]](https://www.codeproject.com/script/Forums/Images/elephant.gif) off.
She just wanted the attention her mother and brother didn't give her and she didn't have many (if any) friends.
She cried a lot.
Looking back on it I should've been nicer to her.
I still think to myself if only I'd just asked about her day, or her hobby, or whatever.
Probably would've meant the world to her.
She's married now and turned out pretty hot, so I guess she did okay in the end (although I don't know if she's mentally stable or happy), but she had a rough childhood and I didn't do anything to make it better while it would've been so easy.
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Sander Rossel wrote: Don't all of us do something for someone from time to time?
Sure do, but I'm getting at going above and beyond. Juicy deets, yo.
Sander Rossel wrote: I invited a cousin over last week and when he left he said "we should do this more often, it's therapeutic."
That's cool man. As someone who hasn't seen his cousin in years, probably did a world of good for him too.
Sander Rossel wrote: I didn't change his life, but I'd like to think I've had a positive influence
That's awesome man.
Sander Rossel wrote: I don't think I did much, but he still thanks me for it in his foreword (which is kind of awesome)
Sometimes it's just a vote of confidence coming from another person ya know. Maybe you saying that made it seem real to him because nobody else in his life would think he could write a book. Success breeds success.
Sander Rossel wrote: Probably would've meant the world to her.
Yeah man. I got regrets too, like not giving a (genuine) homeless guy money once. He's vibe was real. I make it a point to never help fake people, but this dude struck a cord in me and I did nothing. I'm sure there are other areas I screwed up too, just the first one to pop in my head.
As far as the chick thing goes, I know exactly what you mean. I can't say who because it's a public forum and I'm using my real name, but lets just say I had a family member who's brother was extremely terrible to her. And she told me her whole life she always wanted a brother... like a normal one. As adults we still chat every now and again about silly stuff, and while I did nothing practically someone's that's all people need ya know... normalcy.
Sander Rossel wrote: She's married now and turned out pretty hot, so I guess she did okay in the end (although I don't know if she's mentally stable or happy), but she had a rough childhood and I didn't do anything to make it better while it would've been so easy.
I mean that's good to know, I guess. Quick side tangent though, a pretty face doesn't always make someone happy. I could speak on this for hours, but I'll shut up now.
Thanks for the post, buddy.
Jeremy Falcon
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Jeremy Falcon wrote: That's cool man. As someone who hasn't seen his cousin in years, probably did a world of good for him too.
He lives in my street, about a minute walk, it's been years since we talked 
Well, months, at least... 
I see his parents and siblings regularly (his little brother is the cousin who went freelance and he's also into IT, games, anime, cool music and movies, def my fave cousin!).
And I eat over at his parent's place weekly... Well, until his dad fell down the stairs anyway.
Last week, I invited all my cousins (and partners and children) to a restaurant dinner.
Only this guy isn't coming as he's not really a family guy (save for his own household, he has a wife and two kids and he's a great dad).
Him not coming was my reason for inviting him over.
I'm good with all my cousins from my mother's side and also the oldest.
I never see my cousins from my father's side, on that side I'm by far the youngest and they live further away so they might as well be strangers (and we have like nothing in common).
Jeremy Falcon wrote: Maybe you saying that made it seem real to him because nobody else in his life would think he could write a book. Success breeds success.
I'm always surprised so many people have this loser mentality of "that's not going to work" or "they will never make it."
Not with that mentality you won't.
If someone does something because they want to, power to them!
You can do it, I wish you luck.
And if it doesn't work out, you'll have gained valuable experience for your next try.
Jeremy Falcon wrote: Quick side tangent though, a pretty face doesn't always make someone happy.
True, a pretty face won't even always help with a negative self image.
But at least she found the motivation/power to lose weight and take care of her body.
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Sander Rossel wrote: I'm good with all my cousins from my mother's side and also the oldest.
That's awesome man. Not every gets a good family. Don't really realize how valuable they are until they're gone, ya know.
Sander Rossel wrote: And if it doesn't work out, you'll have gained valuable experience for your next try.
100% buddy. There's no such thing as failure as long as you don't quit. You either succeed or learn for the next try.
Sander Rossel wrote: But at least she found the motivation/power to lose weight and take care of her body.
Good point.
Jeremy Falcon
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Oh man, I just thought of this time I made this guy's evening!
Pretty funny story actually, but not completely Lounge-safe... You'll like it though
I didn't know this guy, but he was from my area and it's pretty small, so we have like two or three places to hang out in weekends.
He's also a friend of friends, so I was bound to run into him again.
Anyway, he was drunk and he walked up to me and a friend I was with that he knew.
I can't remember exactly how it went, but he quickly started talking about his p****.
Now I decided to just roll with it.
Asked him how he felt about his p****, that he didn't need to feel bad about it being too small, if he liked other p**** as well, etc.
He loved that I talked to him about it and how I handled the conversation, and even more when I told him I was, in fact, sober.
So a couple of weeks later I meet him again, but sober this time.
He was like "ah, man, I talked to you about my p****, did I not?"
And I was like "yeah man, we had a pretty good conversation."
And this guy absolutely loved me for it, thanked me for indulging him in his drunk state and making him laugh then and again now that he thought about it.
It was the best and most epic conversation he ever had and every time we saw each other after that he'd come say hi and fist bump me
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Ha ha ha ha... that's awesome. I mean we're here to connect as humans... even if it's talking about some dude's p....
I'm not sure how much I can say in the lounge, but I was good buddies with a dude while I was in Florida and we'd have chats like that. Completely sober. I mean, it's silly bro chat, but it's also refreshing to talk to people not putting on some fake front. Like humanity would be a lot further along if we didn't put on a front.
Jeremy Falcon
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Jeremy Falcon wrote: Yeah man. I got regrets too, like not giving a (genuine) homeless guy money once.
I got fooled a couple of times with that and I decided to not give money anymore. If I think that the vibe's are real, what I do now is to invite to eat something and buy food for that person.
Only exception was a guy that once came to me totally honest and told me he was adict and he needed money to buy his dosis relative soon and preferred to say the truth hoping that someone will give him something, so he can avoid having to rob someone when the abstinence hit him. I gave him what I had on me, his bravery to tell the truth upfront is something I have rarely seen and had to be rewarded.
M.D.V. 
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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Nelek wrote: I got fooled a couple of times with that and I decided to not give money anymore.
Same. My family has offered a job to one once and he refused. Perfectly healthy dude. Ever since then, let's just say I use good judgement when dealing with that. The reason this other guy stuck out in my mind is because his energy was different. He wasn't panhandling. He was just outside a grocery store, not begging anyone for anything. And you could feel his aura... knowing he was having a rough time. I don't know if you're spiritual or not, but I'm pretty sure God was talking to me and yet I didn't listen. Still sticks with me to this day. Don't know where that guy is, but I hope he's ok. 
Nelek wrote: I gave him what I had on me, his bravery to tell the truth upfront is something I have rarely seen and had to be rewarded.
Nice, just like any relationship, we're here to connect as people. That's the good stuff. Honesty goes a long way towards that.
Jeremy Falcon
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